Last week, I began my reflection on the power of the holy rosary by exploring the Joyful Mysteries. This week, I want to take a look at the Sorrowful Mysteries.
On the surface, the Sorrowful Mysteries refer to the last hours of Jesus before his Crucifixion. And although this is true, this set of sacred mysteries is about much more. It teaches us about resilience and the power of faith. In his example, Jesus teaches us the power of profound acceptance, of acknowledging that there are certain things that every human being, including Christ, must experience, namely suffering and death. More importantly, he teaches us what it means to surrender, to realize that, in the face of suffering and death, the only thing over which we have control is how we greet those moments that try our humanity.
WHO are we in the face of suffering and death? How can we BE with the inevitable trials of life?
In a few weeks, I will be sharing my digital mini-course on “Tapping Into the Power of the Holy Rosary.” This digital audio and e-booklet package is intended to introduce you to the basics of the rosary and how you can begin to use it as a object for meditation. Stay tuned!
This evening, as with most evenings, I walked past Aaron and my old apartment. I saw the white Honda Fit in the parking space that used to be occupied by Aaron’s black VW Jetta. It felt cruelly poetic: To see something that has replaced our former life together. And my mind naturally drifted to April, when Aaron and I are supposed to reconnect. I imagined what that moment would be like, … to see his beautiful face for the first time on Skype, rather than haunting me whenever I close my eyes … to hear his voice again, rather than it reverberating against the hollowness inside. …
And I imagined the most heartbreaking scenario. I imagined him saying that so much had changed … that he’s a different person … that his understanding of our relationship had changed. … Then, my daydreaming turned to “nightmaring.” I imagined him saying that he had outgrown me, … that he had outgrown Us. … I imagined him saying that, although he would always have a special place in his heart for me, that he could no longer put any more energy into our relationship. And I heard it echoing in my head, like the silence of the graveyard interrupted: “We have to admit that the right thing for Us is to part ways and to let go.”
A lifetime of sorrow and loneliness, wrapped up in anger, welled up inside me as I imagined the one scenario that I most dread. In my being, I confronted the death of one of the most important things to me. And in that moment, I fell to my knees, held my face into my hands, and I allowed my warm tears and the struggle for breath to lead me back to the truth of my relationship with Aaron: Everything we do comes from a place of Love and wanting to do what will support our growth.
So if it is the case that the right thing to do … the loving thing to do … is to allow the sun to set on our relationship, then that is what has to happen. … I’m not looking for this to happen. I am merely accepting that our Love may you have grown bigger than either of us. …