On the Nature of Relationships as Change


So my relationship with Jon came to an end just now. … And it was born anew. … And again it ended. … As I continue to contemplate the nature of impermanence and change, I realized that our experience of Love as human beings is very much shaped by the feeling of being in love. And then we begin to question the future of the relationship when that feeling disappears. Yet, because it is the nature of Life to change, our feelings rise and dissipate. The feeling eventually fades. It is like we are striking the piano key: a deep, rich note that hums for a bit but eventually fades.

The kind of Love of which the mystics wrote and sang transcends the nature of change. It is the eternal thread that strings together each bead of strongly-felt experience into the mala (meditation rosary) of Life. … It is a beautiful, haunting melody – each note the vibrancy of emotional experience, separated by the inevitable fading of that emotion.

What does it all mean, you ask? … We relate to our relationships like they don’t change, when in fact they are changing all the time. If we related to them as if all that there was was that moment, then we would develop a greater appreciation for that relationship, because in fact, it really is ending over and over and over again. When we can live in that place of respect for the changing nature of things, we begin to get a glimpse into the Love that is behind All-That-Is. …


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