On the Way to True Healing


This morning, I was reading from Pema Chodron’s teaching around the practice of tonglen, which is transforming how I relate to and be with the energy of my emotions. She mentioned the “soft spot,” and my heart stirred.

For most, like myself, the automatic reaction to anger, fear, sadness, shame, etc., is to tighten and harden ourselves. Our muscles tense up. There is tightness in our chests. It’s like our bodies and souls are bracing ourselves, protecting that last part of ourselves from potential hurt.

If there is anything that the last two weeks, working with my partner to bring healing to our relationship and taking the biggest steps to let go of my addiction, have taught me, it is that the way through is not to strong-arm my way. Rather, it is to open myself up all the way to that soft spot, to the last piece of me that I am hiding away. It is about bringing the tenderness up into the light. It is only by bringing the soft spot out that I make myself wholly and completely available to Life‘s healing grace.


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