Sometimes, the only way to crawl out of the hole is to fall completely into it. It’s only after the pain of having hitting the floor, hugging oneself in the darkness, that one discovers that things need to be different. It’s not because I’m a glutton for punishment or that I only learn the hard way. Rather, it is the case that sometimes, some habits and behavioral patterns are so ingrained that it almost feels like I can’t find my way out, and it takes the rough times to break down the old habits to make space for the new ones. …
As I move through one of those spaces, I am reminded of two different stories. First, there is the Annunciation to the Virgin Mary that she was to conceive the baby Jesus. Despite how freaky the moment might have been for her as a Jewish virgin woman, she declared, “[B]e it done to my according to your word.” And in the garden, in the last night before his crucifixion, her son, Jesus, prayed first that the cup might pass before him. Then, he surrendered, declaring, “Nevertheless, let it be as you, not I, would have it.”
For me, these moments are reminders of what is required for real change to occur. It is one thing to say that we desire change. It is a whole other thing to be completely willing and open to change, no matter the darkness through which must travel.
As Louise L. Hay affirms in You Can Heal Your Life, “I am willing to change.”