Last night, I again didn’t get much sleep. It was only after listening to S Club’s “Say Goodbye” that I was able to have that cathartic cry that exhausted me enough to sleep.

I want to be over this. … I want to get over Aaron. That doesn’t mean that I stop loving him. It doesn’t mean that I still don’t feel in every part of my being that he’s “the One.” (And by “the One,” I mean that he is as close to everything I could ask for in a lifelong romantic partner.)

What it means to “get over this” is to have me get to a place of Balance again. It means finding the joy of my own company and taking responsibility for my own happiness.

And in getting over this, I will have enough perspective to truly know Aaron and to see whether or not he is indeed the one with whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life.